I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
only if we run a train.
done.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
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