butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i think my tv is drunk
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
