Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
so let's talk penis.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
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