Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
