I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Randomize
