Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
