Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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