Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
You need a sexual gate keeper
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
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