he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
it's like iHOP with fire
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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