VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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