My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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