the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
