Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize
