Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
What drink are we having for lunch?
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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