Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
