This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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