So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
