Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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