Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
it glows. i had to have it.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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