I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Randomize
