she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
