I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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