i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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