Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
