**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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