the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
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