An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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