Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
