Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
