The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
