I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
