you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize