Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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