oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
