Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I'm bleeding and have questions
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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