I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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