So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
