Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
