He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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