A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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