I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
