Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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