she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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