i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
You can't just leave with hair like that
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
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