I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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