I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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