I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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