My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
