the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Randomize
