I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
