Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
why do cheetos always look like penises
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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