He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
