My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Randomize
