big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
