I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
