i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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