There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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