Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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