butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
We are all done wearing pants today
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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